When I lived in Sheffield, I always used to laugh as I went through the car park under Roxy (or Ro y depending which side you looked at it… ) [now the 02 academy] as all of the machines you got your ticket from used to display proudly in capital letters that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE, and every so often you’d find one that instead told you that CHANGE IS NOT POSSIBLE, but that was very rare.
Sometimes I wonder if change, real change, is actually possible. There are all these arguments of nature vs nurture, and things like that, and surely who you are, and your core beliefs and behaviours come from both of those things? You have your core nature – which are the things you come into this world with, and those things are shaped by your environment and those around you – some things are encouraged, others discouraged. But I don’t think you ever lose the potential for those things. And as an extension of that, I believe that everyone has the POTENTIAL to be able to change a lot of things. Maybe not everything, but a lot. Which then changes the question to HOW as opposed to IF.
You get these cliched phrases that fall into common usage: “You can take the girl outta the country, but you’ll never get the country out of the girl…”. “not an arrogant bone in their body” But how true *are* they?
In the last four and a half years, a lot of people tell me that I have changed. They can’t pinpoint exactly, how, and I don’t *feel* any different, but the last few months, especially I have begun to notice some things that are different without any conscious effort for them to be so…. so maybe they are right. But maybe I’ve just adapted to the situation I’ve been in, as well. The real test comes now, when I go back to my ‘home’ environment. It’s not exactly control conditions, but it’s enough to be able to evaluate this as a concept.
I guess as well that we *need* to believe that real change is possible, otherwise we have nothing to strive for – whether that’s acceptance, or a better job, or the ability to be humble, or making friends. Without that belief, then the world is not a great place to be.
I want to be able to say that I have been able to change. That I’m not the shy, marmite, severely lacking in confidence, doormat of a person I was, amongst other things….and I think to some extent I can say that.
Changing those things, takes real effort. I’m not sure how many of them are ingrained due being in my nature, and what are nurtured qualities, but I have to believe that it is possible to change. The question then becomes how…. those are answers I don’t have yet. But I know that you can’t do it by yourself, if only because you need an objective viewpoint from time to time. Seeing yourself through someone else’s HONEST eyes can be quite a good evaluation tool. Somewhere I have a list of the things I’d like to change, and some I have more clue about how to go about it than others, but if I don’t try then it will be just as those rare parking meters telling me that change is not possible. But just like those meters, it’s important to remember just how many told you that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE compared with not.