Caution: objects in the rear view mirror…

Yah yeah. We all know the saying..but conversely, a bit of distance can often provide some much needed perspective on things.

I’ve spent my Easter holiday away from Sheffield, not just for the fun of it, but also to aid in some perspective on things. Since getting and starting the new job I’ve worked damned hard, and have otherwise been surviving in less than perfect conditions, which has been hard work at times in its own respect. And as I reach a point where I can start to flat hunt again, I’m beginning to think about the next set of hurdles I’m going to need to jump.
Through the generosity, hospitality and kindness shown by my hosts for this weekend I remember why I love having my own place. Not because of the peace and quiet, or the space necessarily, although for my introvert side these are also all well and good, but more because I miss being able to host people, and to be spontaneous. I miss having a kitchen which isn’t full of a bunch of stuff I simply don’t use, and has a set of sharp knives instead of just one, which is rapidly becoming blunted by everyone else…
And I miss having weird and wonderful stuff around to experiment in cooking adventures with, and, perhaps more importantly, having people over to share those adventures with.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the fact that I have somewhere to live and get on with things through this transitional phase, but I think I’m ready to get back to being able to do one of the things I enjoy most.

There are a few other things that I’ve realised of late as well – especially when looking at the whole trying to short living arrangements out, and one is the realisation that I’m definitely being a bit more grown up in terms of what I’m wanting from the next part of this whole adventure. I don’t just want somewhere to live, I want somewhere I can customise, and be able to add my own stamp to, rather than just passively exist in. This, I assume is down in part to the fact that I have a bit more of an idea about my self, my personality, and my own taste in things whereas previously I would have always tried to please everyone else and not really think about myself at all in the process. I’m not saying that I’m going entirely the other way and turning into a selfish git, but I am playing more attention to things which ultimately will be essential not only to my general state of happiness but also to establishing myself as a valid person, allowed to have and express opinions about things as well as eventually maybe even develop some style and flair 😉
Yeah… I’m being self deprecating I know, but I’m not an arrogant arse and I don’t think I ever could be so humour is the easiest way to dispel any illusions….
Bottom line… I’m becoming a person….!

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