Experimentation

I’ve been quiet for a few days, and it’s been an interesting few, in the Chinese sense, anyway…

Last week I spent in bed, pretty much. I couldn’t get up, and I couldn’t do anything. Body and Mind’s way of telling me enough was enough I guess. Last weekend I roleplayed and enjoyed it for the first time in ages, did art for the first time in a longer time than that, surprised myself, cried, laughed, hugged and generally just was. I’m now conducting an experiment, where when I’m thinking I write it down. I think I’ve said before that my brain goes QUICKLY. Like happily thinking about four or five different things at once quickly. I need to slow it down. So instead I’m writing it down, which is hopefully going to mean that I distract myself enough to only have one two or maybe three things in my head. It does mean I’m doing a lot of writing in the meantime though, which is why I haven’t really said that much on here. I will probably sort the thoughts out into some sort of coherency and stick them on here at some point.

There’s a fair bit coming out though, and that has to be a good thing overall I think, so we’ll see how this goes. Ultimately I need to work out how to slow my brain down and focus on just one train of thought, as that will probably help. I’m also wondering what the ’empty thoughts’ I have are more and more. By this, I mean the times I know I’m thinking about something and there’s stuff going on, but I couldn’t tell you what I’m thinking about, just that the process is happening. It’s like there’s a part of me I just don’t have access too, but sometimes I’m aware of it.

Does that make any sense? It’s one of these things that just seems a little bit crazy, but that’s the best way I can think of to explain it, although I’m not sure it’s a common thing or not….

I also need to get back on top of the whole diet and exercise thing as well… I have a bunch of swimming passes to use though, so that should kick start quite happily, and I’m planning that for next week onwards I have ten swims to use in 6 weeks, so hoping to average twice a week. Then I need to get back into the kinect stuff. Just need to kick my butt really, and also take up the kind offer of some workouts I can do at home. Overall though, this is already shaping up to be an interesting year, and I think big things (for me, at least) may be afoot.

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