mixed signals

I think it’s time to accept that this isn’t working. Not any more.

Too many assumptions getting in the way of everything. Of which the consequence is mixed signals being given.  And then of course it becomes a point of contention when it’s mentioned. I’m not saying that I’m any better-  as much as I try not to assume, I end up doing my fair share. Mine tend to be predictable though – I’ll always assume the worst.

There is one assumption I know I’m falling back into; which is the assumption that I’m just a third wheel; a spare part; the one who’s tolerated because you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you don’t really want around. But you know what? I’m actually OK with that. I’d rather be told though than to try and fight to believe that isn’t true (thanks to people telling me that repeatedly) but when the chance comes to be social or whatever, I’m mysteriously forgotten about…. nothing new really. Just… same old..

So with that in mind, maybe it’s time that I stepped back a bit and see what’s what – for myself. If I step back would anyone notice? Or even try and intervene? It’d be nice to believe that, but the reality is what it is.

I’m not bitter, or angry… just a bit foolish really.


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